OK...more waiting

So the cramping bleeding started on Wednesday and ended Saturday afternoon. It ended up being like a normal AF. The cramps were pretty uncomfortable. Im going this morning for my third beta. I have to drive all the way to waltham to Boston IVF's main office since its the weekend. Last night i asked Matt to give me directions, since I planned to go alone. He said he would go with me. Good, I think he should. I think he is more upset about this loss than I am. Don't get me wrong, I am of course devestated but he just seems really down.
Yesterday we were busy, which helps. We had stayed at the campground so we spent the morning at the pond and then headed out for a mystery ride. We found a little church festival with free stuff-bouncy, face painting, hotdogs, snowcones etc. score!! Although they were singing praise music, and forgive me, but I am not at a point that I want to be hearing praise right now. As we were driving away what song comes on the damn radio but Stand by Rascal Flatts. I posted about that previously is this blog. I go a bit teary but held it together since I was with my family. If anything it brought on more anger...I am tired of getting back in the ring!!
We went down to Onset and got fried dough and drove along the water then headed back home. I took a short nap because I was feeling that fternoon exhaustion again. My right boob also had the zapping feeling all day. Cruel symptoms. Matt suggested a date night so my parents babysat while we went with my sister to an Irish pub. Of course we sat next to a couple with a newborn, in the same infant carrier that we have. And of course there was a pregnant waitress who kept walking by. So today is the big day. I keep saying that! This cycle has been a whirlwind. I just need this beta to be either way up ro way down. I just need to know. That small dip last time wasn't enough to close the door. It wasn't enouogh to let me order a drink at the pub last night lol. I still had/have that 10% glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe...