keep on truckin'

My last entry was a few weeks ago. Not much has happened since then. My beta on Wednesday September 1st was 3. The nurse wants me to come back in a week to have what should be my last beta level labs. I think thats sorta dumb, obviously its done ya know? But, whatever...I will do what I'm told despite common sense. I asked if it was now considered negative since its under 5, she told me it is only negative when it's under zero now. Great.
I had my phone consult with Dr. Zimon today. It was very brief. She has agreed, at my insistence, to do clotting disorder testing, and automimmune testing, and carryo type testing. Its all just blood work and probably won't tell us anything but I feel like I need to know before I suject my remaining embryos to my destructive self lol. I guess that means I should get back on my synthroid. I stopped taking everything when I took the Metho shot. I went through a "Fuck it why bother" period like I do after every failed cycle.
Quin has suddenly taken an interest in babies and pregancy. Im just waiting for the moment when he asks for a sibling. When I was his age I used to pray every night for a baby brother. My mom had a suprise pregnancy and gave me a sister...good enough!
We went up to New Hampshire to Santa's Village and Story Land (little kid amusement parks) and I was sad to watch all of the siblings riding the rides together. Im sad that Quin may never have that and thats not fair to him.
I am thinking about what my consolation prize will be. After my other failed cycles I tend to plan something big like a vacation or home addition. The plan was to do a cruise this winter if my 6th cycle was a bust. I didn't expect to have embryos left for a frozen transfer. So now I can't book anything, I have to wait and see if thats successful. Im actually thinking about not doing a family cruise and just doing a shorter trip with just DH and I. Since Quin was born we have only been away together for one night. I think it would be good for us. I love vacationing with Quin because its so fun to watch him experience new things but it would be nice to not have kid responsibility and get to do adult stuff (like dinner without nuggets). I am thinking about 4 days in Vegas in November. I might actually put off the FET until after the trip. I have to convince DH that its OK to spend money (that we don't have) on something this selfish and frivolous.